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Poor (Wo)man’s Charcuterie Board

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If you’ve ever assembled your own fancy charcuterie (say shar-koo-tur-ee)/cheese board to pair with your favorite wine, you know it’s not as cheap as it looks. Sure, you can grab a couple blocks of average cheeses (think sharp cheddar and mozzarella), but let’s be honest, that’s just a boring cheese and cracker situation.

So how do you get the good stuff on a budget? If you like variety like I do, it’s going to be pretty wasteful (and expensive) if you get some big ol’ chunks of stinky cheeses. Let’s first determine what makes a fun and delicious charcuterie plate.

  • Cured meats
  • Cheeses
  • Nuts
  • Fruit/Veggies
  • Sauces/Condiments
  • Crackers/Bread

The expensive part is the meat and cheese. Surprise, surprise…I have the way you can enjoy this for a small group (2-4) and not break the bank.

Cured Meats – Go to your grocery deli counter and ask for 1/4 lb. of your favorite options (salami, turkey, etc.). No need to buy several full packages as a full platter of goodies will be plenty to fill your belly.

Cheeses – Some specialty grocers (Sprouts Farmers Market, Whole Foods Market, New Seasons Market) have random hunks of cheese, that are essentially odd shaped end pieces, thrown into a basket near the cheese area. This is where you find those ridiculous $39.99/lb options. All you need is a tiny sliver to enjoy. Can you imagine getting normal size blocks varying from $14.99/lb – $39.99/lb. Forget about it!

Nuts – Depending on what kind of nuts you like, this could be a little bit pricier. Grab one of those snack pack single servings you find at the checkout counter.

Fruit/Veggies – This one’s already a fairly cheap option. I love apples with cheese, and you only really need about a half of an apple between 2 people. I usually rummage through my crisper to see what I have. I added carrots in the platter above. If you want your plate to be pretty too, berries (blueberries, raspberries, strawberries) and kiwi are good choices).

Sauces/Condiments – I’m a real saucy broad, so this is my favorite add. Great options include: jellies/jams, mustards, and honey.

Crackers/Bread – Let’s be honest, while we love our carby options, they are just a vessel in which to get the tasty treats to our mouths. Grab a 99 cent grocery store baguette or any generic cracker you enjoy.

If you know of any other grocers that have an end piece cheese basket, let me know in the comments below!

For your viewing pleasure…look at the color the fruit brings.
Are you hungry yet?
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Don’t Throw Those Wine Bottles Away!

Facebooktwitterredditpinteresttumblrmailby featherWhy not upcycle instead?  What is upcycling, you ask?  It’s taking something you’d usually just throw out, and re-purposing it into something usable and fabulous again instead.

Once a month, my creative, fun friend, Mary Katherine, hosts a girl’s crafting night at her place.  She makes it desirable for even the laziest of people…she gets all the supplies and tells us what we owe her.  This month: wine bottle wind chimes.

I started out with the best of intentions, but cutting glass isn’t nearly as easy as I thought it would be with the special tool we had to use, so my lazy ass decided to skimp corners instead.

DSC08128-002

What you need:

  • Kinkajou Bottle Cutter (or another cheaper brand: Bottle Cutter Kit – I have not tried this brand, so I cannot endorse it…but I’m all about cheap! The Kink belonged to my friend)
  • A glass bottle of your choice
  • Ribbon
  • Guinea fowl feathers
  • Hot glue gun
  • Glue sticks

This is the Kinkajou…get your mind out of the gutter and follow along here…

Kinkajou

Here’s how it works:

Easy, right?  Wrong.  Okay, when it works, it’s wonderful, but it can be tough to get it perfect.  Tips for getting a clean cut:

  • Choose a bottle with thin glass.  How do you know if it’s thin or not?  I’m not sure, but the Pellegrino water bottles worked nicely (and they’re a pretty green).
  • Make sure the cut goes all the way around in a straight line and connects at its ends.

I only cut 1 bottle after 2 of my friends had failed, uneven cuts.  Mine just snapped right off where it was supposed to.  That’s it, I give up, 1 bottle it is. I made it into a wind chime at first (I’ll show you how to do that below), but ultimately decided on the candle holder instead.

DSC08122-001My bag of ribbons is sorry, so this golden mustard color was the only decent choice.  Cut about 18 inches of ribbon (you can always cut it down more).

DSC08123-001Tie the ribbon around the bottleneck into a bow and play with it until you get it to your desired bow size.  Then, cut off any excess ribbon.DSC08124-001Pull the bow up over the top of your bottle and get out your glue gun.  Add some glue around the bottleneck where you will secure your ribbon back.DSC08125-001Add some glue to the middle, inside of the bow so that you can slip your feathers into it.

DSC08126-001All done!

As for the windchime, Mr. Beaverelli doesn’t like noises, so this was a no-go for this lodge.  I used 3 of these large plastic pearl beads (these came from an old necklace that Mary Katherine acquired, I might add).Large Pearl BeadYou have to play around with different ways of tying the beads and how much distance between them.  Pulling the cord through the bottle is the best way to eyeball it and then make adjustments accordingly.

DSC08135-001She also throws away the key fobs and keeps just the key ring (she’s my hero).  You’d think that this old icky thing is not something you’d ever want to keep around, but I like it way more than the shiny, new looking ones.

DSC08137-001If only the windchime didn’t make noise…wait? Huh?

DSC08127-001You could even use it as both!  Try out on the mantle for a while and when you’re tired of looking at it and would rather hear it instead (and let your neighbors have a nice view) put it outside.

Beaverelli Crafts-001Facebooktwitterredditpinteresttumblrmailby feather